Comments for Crazy People http://maureencooke.com Living With Mental Illness Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:07:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Comment on Lucy (2006-2009) Beaker (2000-2012) by Second Site http://maureencooke.com/lucy-2006-2009-beaker-2000-2012/comment-page-1#comment-1344 Second Site Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:07:37 +0000 http://maureencooke.com/?p=6611#comment-1344 Hey Will, I sent you a private email to explain what I meant. :) Hey Will, I sent you a private email to explain what I meant. :)

]]> Comment on Lucy (2006-2009) Beaker (2000-2012) by Will http://maureencooke.com/lucy-2006-2009-beaker-2000-2012/comment-page-1#comment-1342 Will Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:25:26 +0000 http://maureencooke.com/?p=6611#comment-1342 Right, I wasn't trying to rank losses based on species. Losses hurt, and how much they hurt is specific to the individual and the circumstances. My biological mother died suddenly when I was two and a half. I don't remember her at all, but that sure affected my life greatly and adversly. My (step) mother died at 90, we all expected it, it was a good thing given the quality of life she had by then, and other than some residual sadness when I think I'd like to call her to tell her about something, it didn't have much emotional impact. I'm trying to say, and doing it badly, that humans or critters, losing one can be a very big deal and I'm sorry you had to deal with that now and before. Losing one of the cats would be a VERY big deal to me now, and especially the one As worked so hard at saving. Maybe I should have just said "I'm sorry" and left it at that. And yes, I think the modern American "Let's just get on with it" attitude isn't conducive to getting on with it. A bit more formal ritual might help. Many other cultures have those. Right, I wasn’t trying to rank losses based on species. Losses hurt, and how much they hurt is specific to the individual and the circumstances. My biological mother died suddenly when I was two and a half. I don’t remember her at all, but that sure affected my life greatly and adversly.

My (step) mother died at 90, we all expected it, it was a good thing given the quality of life she had by then, and other than some residual sadness when I think I’d like to call her to tell her about something, it didn’t have much emotional impact.

I’m trying to say, and doing it badly, that humans or critters, losing one can be a very big deal and I’m sorry you had to deal with that now and before. Losing one of the cats would be a VERY big deal to me now, and especially the one As worked so hard at saving.

Maybe I should have just said “I’m sorry” and left it at that.

And yes, I think the modern American “Let’s just get on with it” attitude isn’t conducive to getting on with it. A bit more formal ritual might help. Many other cultures have those.

]]> Comment on Lucy (2006-2009) Beaker (2000-2012) by Second Site http://maureencooke.com/lucy-2006-2009-beaker-2000-2012/comment-page-1#comment-1341 Second Site Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:01:25 +0000 http://maureencooke.com/?p=6611#comment-1341 You know, Will, I've been telling people that it's hard to lose animals, when, in fact, it's hard to lose anyone. Losing my mom was hard because I was so young; that loss shaped me. My sisters have lost children, and that loss tore apart the marriage of one. I wonder if other cultures, other countries know how to deal with death better. I still miss Asenath. I still wish I could call her, hear her voice on the other end of the phone. I agree that waking her to tell her she was dying would have been unbearably cruel. When my mom died in '66, nobody ever talked with her about her dying; they let her do it alone, and that also seems cruel. I understand that my aunts, my grandparents, and my stepdad not talking to my mom, not telling her good-bye, letting her know how much they'd loved her, was a reflection of their inability to accept her death. Still, that inability resulted in cruel behavior - perhaps unintentional, but cruel nonetheless. And, finally, as far as As inhabiting Izzi, I'm reminded of Jung (and I'm paraphrasing something fierce) - but if belief brings comfort and peace, then belief makes more sense and is ultimately psychologically healthier than non-belief. We have books by Jung somewhere; I should really double-check that quote because I may have really gotten it wrong. :) You know, Will, I’ve been telling people that it’s hard to lose animals, when, in fact, it’s hard to lose anyone. Losing my mom was hard because I was so young; that loss shaped me. My sisters have lost children, and that loss tore apart the marriage of one. I wonder if other cultures, other countries know how to deal with death better. I still miss Asenath. I still wish I could call her, hear her voice on the other end of the phone. I agree that waking her to tell her she was dying would have been unbearably cruel.
When my mom died in ’66, nobody ever talked with her about her dying; they let her do it alone, and that also seems cruel. I understand that my aunts, my grandparents, and my stepdad not talking to my mom, not telling her good-bye, letting her know how much they’d loved her, was a reflection of their inability to accept her death. Still, that inability resulted in cruel behavior – perhaps unintentional, but cruel nonetheless.
And, finally, as far as As inhabiting Izzi, I’m reminded of Jung (and I’m paraphrasing something fierce) – but if belief brings comfort and peace, then belief makes more sense and is ultimately psychologically healthier than non-belief. We have books by Jung somewhere; I should really double-check that quote because I may have really gotten it wrong. :)

]]> Comment on Lucy (2006-2009) Beaker (2000-2012) by Second Site http://maureencooke.com/lucy-2006-2009-beaker-2000-2012/comment-page-1#comment-1340 Second Site Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:48:20 +0000 http://maureencooke.com/?p=6611#comment-1340 Yeah, baby, I'm glad you got to know Beaker and Lucy, as well. And I'm happy we've got Rock and Triscuit and even ill-tempered Sasha. :) I'm thankful for all the cats, even when they trip me or leave fur all over my clean clothes. Animals are an integral part of the life we share, and they bring such comfort. I love you, sweetheart. M Yeah, baby, I’m glad you got to know Beaker and Lucy, as well. And I’m happy we’ve got Rock and Triscuit and even ill-tempered Sasha. :) I’m thankful for all the cats, even when they trip me or leave fur all over my clean clothes. Animals are an integral part of the life we share, and they bring such comfort. I love you, sweetheart. M

]]> Comment on Lucy (2006-2009) Beaker (2000-2012) by Second Site http://maureencooke.com/lucy-2006-2009-beaker-2000-2012/comment-page-1#comment-1339 Second Site Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:44:08 +0000 http://maureencooke.com/?p=6611#comment-1339 Hi Karah, Thanks. It's really hard to lose animals; I think, in part, when they die and you've been responsible for their well-being, there's always the feeling you could have done more. Even when my daughter put down her 19-year-old cat, she wondered if she could have put through a really gallant effort and gotten her a few more years. Thanks, Karah. And great posts on your blog. XXXOOO Hi Karah,
Thanks. It’s really hard to lose animals; I think, in part, when they die and you’ve been responsible for their well-being, there’s always the feeling you could have done more. Even when my daughter put down her 19-year-old cat, she wondered if she could have put through a really gallant effort and gotten her a few more years.
Thanks, Karah. And great posts on your blog.
XXXOOO

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